Back in my youth pastor'n days there were lots of kids coming through. Some I remember just feeling so perplexed, intimidated even, that I could never seem to make a dent in. Tough kids. Tonight I was surfing around a social networking site when I came across, really randomly, a comment about one of those kids. The commenter mentioned "him being the worst person she knows, into crack and stuff..."
No matter what water has flowed under the proverbial bridge, how hard I tried, or didn't try, how well I really knew those kids or was never given a fair chance to, it still rips my heart out. To see young peoples lives being destroyed by Satan. Destroyed before they ever got a chance. Destroyed even after they had a chance to hear the good news of the gospel.
I remember feeling so powerless against the apathy and cold stares of indifference. I'd pray and pray. I'd lay my hands on them every week and declare, prophesy and speak life and truth into the voids. A lot of them as I check their facebook's and stuff seem to be firmly either: a)seriously investigating or b) immersed in the kingdom of the world. That's not being judgmental, it's just the truth. I know my role in their life didn't end when they graduated or I quit "the job". Proximity and time are starting to dull those old ties more than ever. I feel like, and am probably a stranger now. But I will always pray for them.
I wish they were all in bible school and on DTS's somewhere. But they're not. Who knows how God is working this all out. If I knew then what I know now, I'm not sure I would do it all over again. Sorry to be dumping this here but I'm just trying to process through it a bit...