Thursday, December 11, 2008

Crushed by scripture - Vol. 1

Do you ever feel like you need a helmet when reading the word? I do. Every time I open it I usually don't come away feeling refreshed, but rather crushed.

I don't know what to say. I guess I could just stick to Psalms 23 and Phil. 4:13 but that feels dishonest and immature. I need to figure out Hebrew 6:1-6 and Matthew 7:13-14.

Lately these hard scriptures have been haunting me. When I'm honest about how I steward areas of my life I don't see anything to be really proud of. This can come across in my countenance and I continually have people exhort me to start living like "the King's kid" and to cheer up. I appreciate that, but I don't want to live in that dillusion. I think that produces mediocrity. A lack of responsibility. Like those spoiled royals we see in the tabloids that don't have to answer for anything because of who their blood lines.

So what do you do? I know the gospel. I know that I will never be made righteous by my works and good looks, but I also know that when I read the word, there is an expectation that believers "shine like stars" (phil 2:15) and most of the time I feel like a black hole...

What do you do with hard scripture? Do we say they are there to point us to our unrighteousness and need for Christ? Or do they signal how far we are from an authentic and real relationship with God?

I don't know, just being honest...

-Jason

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