Saturday, October 03, 2009

A prayer.

So some stuff that is going on with the Hugh.
  • Not much! Actually I'm getting sick of saying that. People say, "what's new with you!?" and I say, "Nothing! Doing the exact same thing as a year ago. Same jobs, same schools, same depression, same apathy!" It is starting to grate on me a bit. I am hating it actually. What's new with me? Well, me and the boy are going to the bottle depot today! Woo hoo.
  • The biggest difference from a year ago is that we are no longer going to our old church. And as a matter of fact, not going at all. I thought it might be a life giving thing to find a new fellowship for the discipleship of my family, but it hasn't been. It's actually been a vortex of suck. But staying there was equally difficult because we aren't in sync with what is happening there. Eventually this "lack of sync" would have manifested itself in some sort of grief to someone. And there has been too much grief there already.
  • People are starting to wonder and worry about or lack of church attendance and all. Wondering where and when we will be somewhere on Sunday. When are we going to church? I would love to do church. And I love being a part of the church. I'm just not sure I'm thrilled with attending some social event that happens at 10am on Sunday morning where people sing and listen. I want deep fellowship, deep gospel, deep discipleship and deep helping others. (Not necessarily in that order). I don't want deep bureaucracy, deep budgets, deep lectures and deep facades.
Listen, I know "no where is perfect". I know that and I don't want to be that guy. You know, the one who only listens to this "preacher" from Oklahoma via cassette that he gets from his friend, (who isn't really his friend, just the closest other almost member of the remnant, that lives nearby and isn't "almost" deceived by the anti-Christ and knows all about the secret bible code.) I don't want to be that guy. But I don't want to be the guy that just settles for what everyone else settles for because it's the most "practical" way to do it, and heck we've been doing it this way since Constantine, so something must be working right!

Nope, I want simple church that doesn't look like a meeting of the nut jobs that carry on about hating the traditional church. That want to read "the shack" rather than Galatians. That have set Defcon 9 in order to prevent any sort of form of a leader from emerging and showering toxic religiosity on everyone else.

And I want a traditional church that doesn't look like it was opened and put together out of a box. Where there is this one, charismatic good looking guy who speaks great and has a detailed list of how his church will grow down to which song will be sung on the third Sunday in April in 2015. Feel free to come and listen and let me shape your life.

I know these are stereotypes. That is one of the curses of being in church exodus limbo hell. You tend to get wrapped up in stereo types. It sucks. But what do you do?

I hope and pray there will be a resolution for this soon. It is much more complicated than what I've described here. Actually what I've written here makes everything look pretty shallow. The amount of time that I've invested thinking about this can't be described. It's pretty obscene. I might describe it as a stronghold actually. All that to say I would love some freedom. Hopefully, if I knew the way out I hope I'd take it.

God. Your probably the only one who is reading this. And really it's all just a broken prayer to you anyway. You know my wicked heart. It truly is deceitful above all things. It want to worship the world more that you. So often I love such base things more than you. Chips, talk radio and Facebook. The dodgers, the internet and my library book get more attention and love than you do.

There is a deep place in my heart that is reserved for you though. And I wish that it would grow. Let all others find there death with Christ on the cross. Let the fantastic imaginations and visions I have in my heart of serving you only finally be born. And when they find their way in my life please protect them from the devourer who seeks to kill. Let the seeds of your Spirit be planted in good soil bearing a great harvest for your Glory.

Please let my family live directly in your will, being lead by you Holy Spirit.

I ask all these things in the name of Jesus. Amen.

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